Waves

These emotions are coming in waves and I am not sure how to handle it other than reaching for the oh shit bar.  I was on a roll for a few days, then BAM I was quickly reminded on Tuesday that only two weeks have passed since we last touched.  Two weeks feels like two months to my heart.  I envy those who say they are at the half way mark and I can't wait to be in their shoes.  Of course I am happy that their husbands will be returning soon, but the selfish part of me thinks about how I would love to trade spots with them.  You may think that I need to get out of the house or keep myself busy to keep these thoughts out of my head, but I can hardly fit anything else in my schedule right now.  I have taken on five classes, play groups, tumbling class for Mason, and church activities.  These thoughts are just in the back of my head and I fight them as much as possible.  They usually take a hold of me at night after I have put Mason to bed and my homework is finished.  I try to make myself go to sleep, but that is next to impossible these days.  It just sucks.  I am trying to be positive here like everyone thinks I should, but that is easier said then done.